We Definitely Have Oxen

Ben often reminds me of Proverbs 14:4 "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." So, yes, today my house is a mess. Their new favorite thing is making a boat out of the couch...and yes, something spilled on the cushion, but I'm pretty sure it'll come out. :)Gabe is a jaguar and Gideon, a puppy. They're on a "boat" surrounded by sharks who are ready to eat any poor soul who happens to be in the "water"!There's plenty of room for a jaguar and a puppy, but when the Lion-Piggy joins in things get a little tight! (He requested to be a lion, but the boys wanted a pig - poor Ben!) ;)
After a very long adventure on the high seas, my jaguar and puppy were all worn out. My house looked like a tornado had blown through, but it was worth it. One day the "oxen" (aka: puppy and jaguar) will be gone, the house will be clean and I'll wish for some animals to come mess it up!

Whate'er My God Ordains is Right

Whate'er my God ordains is right: Holy his will abideth; I will be still whate'er he doth; And follow where he guideth: He is my God: though dark my road,He holds me that I shall not fall: Wherefore to him I leave it all.

Whate'er my God ordains is right: He never will deceive me; He leads me by the proper path; I know he will not leave me: I take, content, what he hath sent; His hand can turn my griefs away, And patiently I wait his day.

Whate'er my God ordains is right: Though now this cup, in drinking, May bitter seem to my faint heart, I take it, all unshrinking: My God is true; each morn anew Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart, And pain and sorrow shall depart.

Whate'er my God ordains is right: Here shall my stand be taken; Though sorrow, need, or death be mine, Yet am I not forsaken; My Father's care is round me there; He holds me that I shall not fall: And so to him I leave it all.

Written by: Samuel Rodigast, 1676. Music: Severus Gastorius, 1675

Last night on the way home from church Gabe and Gideon were discussing our imaginary pets. Apparently we have a mouse, a cat and two dogs. Gabe was asking what we should name them and we were all throwing out names -including some names Ben and I had been debating for future children, Lord willing:). Gabe told me that I could name the mouse but I said I'd rather name a dog because I don't really like mice. "We don't have any mice, Mommy, do you like mouses?" Ummm... :)

Kindness...

Today was a hard day. Justus' rash is coming back and he seems to be regressing a bit. He also had his chemo treatment this morning and we ended up staying most of the day because he also had to have a transfusion. I was feeling pretty drained and sad, but when I got home I had a package from my cousin, Myssi. It was exactly what I needed. Inside was a beautiful bracelet she made with Gabe, Gideon, and Justus' names on it, a letter and the testimony her mom wrote about a similar trial she went through when her girls were little...what a HUGE encouragement it was! God knew just what I needed at that moment. Every breath Justus takes is sustained by God and He could easily heal him this instant, but I know He knows what's best, even though I might not see it yet...

Go To The Aunt??

We're trying to teach the boys scripture as we go through our day. One of the Proverbs that I like to mention while we're "working" is Proverbs 6:6 : "Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise". We talk about being a hard worker and not lazy like a "slug". I thought we were all on the same page...until today. As we're working together to wipe the extremely sticky Butt Paste (yes, that's actually the name) off the carpet that Gabe and Gideon had so dilligently smeared in, Gabe mentioned that he was working very hard like an ant. I told him that makes me very proud and I told him I'd tell Daddy when he got home. He grins "Tell him I'm a good worker like Aunt Britt!" :)

Blessings...

I am so thankful to my Savior for all the wonderful blessings He bestowed on us. I have found it helps lift my spirit to count my blessings which are, as always, abundant and overflowing. Some of our blessings numerous:

• Gabe and Gideon are healthy and happy


• Justus is keeping down his food


• Ben has a good job


• Justus' rash is fading


• His platelette count is good


• We live near great hospitals


• We have such wonderful family and friends


• I have been saved by the grace of God


• It was not Gabe or Gideon (that would have been a logistical nightmare trying to nurse and take care of Justus without him being able to come to the hospital)


• We have health insurance


• We are so blessed to have our church!

This is obviously not an exhaustive list, but I truly am blessed and so thankful for God's mercy...so much more than I deserve.

Please Pray

Please pray that Justus will do well with the chemo and won't need more blood transfusions. Also that he will feel better (now he is very sad and fussy and rarely smiles), that he will not get sick (his immune system is being taxed by the chemo and lack of nutrition) as that means we're back in the hospital. Please continue to pray for me...I am so weak. I struggle with doubts and fears and worry. I know God is in control and that is a HUGE comfort, but it is so hard to hold my little sick baby in my arms and think he may die from this. I have tears pouring down my face as I write that because I don't even want to type it. I covet your prayers. It's harder than I could have imagined. I can't describe how sick he seems right now, I can't help but sob. He looked so much healthier in the hospital because he was swollen, now he seems to be wasting away he's so tiny and frail. I want to be strong, but I am not. I hope in my Savior who gave me this precious little boy and pray that He will give me the grace to get through each day no matter what. "Thank you Lord for the wonderful days You have given us with Justus, please give us more, but if not, please, please the faith I need." I really want to see that beautiful smile again.

A Hard Providence

As many of you know...Justus is actually a lot sicker than we thought last time I posted. He was diagnosed with a very rare disease called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis or LCH. I want to cry just writing that looking at that picture of him. I have to remind myself daily -hourly- of something Ben encouraged me with when we first got this shock. That God is no less in sustaining Justus now than He was a few months ago. It was a shock like I've never experienced. We are now out of the hospital after almost six weeks and I have to say that the numbness is just starting to wear off. Living in the hospital is such a strange existence, on one hand I'm eternally grateful for all the wonderful nurses and doctors that diagnosed and treated my baby, but on the other I'm frustrated because of the lack of sleep or privacy and my mind is numb from staring at the same walls for weeks.
I am so thankful that Justus does seem to be responding to treatment. God has been kind to us. I am also overwhelmed by the kindness of our family and friends. Rachel, your fruit salad and letter made my day and meant the world to me. Everyone's generosity has been overflowing on us and I can't thank all of you enough.